the art of living
For much of my life, from puberty until just a few years ago, I struggled with varying degrees of depression...from severe enough to be medicated and hospitalized to that low baseline form of general malaise and anxiety that allows you to be functional but not to live. In many ways, my life's work has been about figuring out how to get to a place where my days ...
well, where I just feel good.
I'm particularly fascinating by people who live long, healthy, fruitful lives and their way of living, the secret. Maybe because there was a time when I didn't think I would live very long. I have a collection of books about the longest living cultures, those people who live to be into their 90s (and beyond) and are healthy, happy and vibrant. In my personal life I am inspired by Teetoo...Bryan's dear grandmother who is 92-years old, living up in the mountains in Colorado, driving herself around to visit friends or go to the grocery store or church, talking on Skype, and most recently commenting on Instagram! Forever growing...and that is part of her secret; she is open, curious, and has a great sense of humour.
In my book collection, there are many similarities among those who live long...they eat well (though their diets vary considerably) and enjoy moderately active lives. They are close to their families, as well as active and respected in their communities. But the most important factor seems to be their own state of mind...they are healthy and happy because of their attitude.
I call the process "dialing it in"...and I am forever the experimenter trying new things, seeing what works, seeking inspiration from people I encounter who seem to have it figured out (for the most part). Part of my experiment is the questions...What fulfills me? Where do I get jammed up? When do I feel good? I know that I enjoy working, and I need to be of service in my work, but I am beyond the 12+ hour work day/60-hour work week. I know I need to move my body every day...and this is a challenge for me (see my double dog dare!). I know I need to learn how to feel satisfied with what I do and enjoy the downtime I create for myself ...I'm learning that I love to fill the downtime with cooking, with picture-taking, and with making my spaces feel more comfortable and beauitful.
This summer as we sat together in Elizabeth's apartment and discussed the vision behind Squam, what emerged was the idea that we support "creativity as a way of life"...in so many ways, this distills down what I have been seeking for decades now.
On my internet journey this week I found this video:
Maia is a russian ballerina, she's 95-years-old and she very much reminds me of Teetoo. I love the similarity between the woman and her environment, beautiful in that well-lived-in way. I love that her exercise routine is a cornerstone to her day and is reminiscent of yoga (confession: i went to my first yoga class in a long time yesterday inspired by this video and it was just what I needed)...and I love the results of the experiment of her life:
"My secret for long life is simplicity, work, and enjoyment." ~ Maia Helles
So, ever the scientist I am curious...tell me, how are you dialing it in? what works for you? what have you learned helps you to feel good? what is your secret? is there someone in your life that inspires you in this way? what is it about their life that works?
xo*m
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Comments
wow..I'm so moved by that video! Maia is just stunning in her simple beauty.
What works for me: getting out in the sun as much as possible, being around my dogs and engaging in activities that fulfill me-even if they don't make me any money. I am at my best when I eat a fairly healthy diet, as you said, but don't get strict about it. When I move regularly, when I read books that fascinate me and when I take time to connect with someone.
Wow. What an inspiration.
beautiful post....thank you for sharing part of your story and for finding this wonderful video. I dial it in by getting outside, away from concrete, stepping way from the static of the computer and the phone and make contact with earth. I dial it in by connecting with those whose bring my heart to higher ground. I feel better when I am honest, when I am practicing self care. and of course, i always feel better when James Taylor is serenading me.
oh michelle, you speak from my heart. I too have dealt with the depression from a very young age and have always thought I'd never last that long..wow, you could of been speaking about me in those first few paragraphs. I love how you are looking out and seeing who does live the best lives and your Teetoo sounds amazing. the loving caring older women who teach us so much. this video is perfect too. I am constantly trying to find the ways that dial me in. moving my body has always been a struggle for me but like my ddd, i'm trying. being surrounded by positive people and ones that take living seriously :) you are an inspiration and i so so so thank you for your honesty today. i needed to know i wasn't alone. i came to the right place.
xxxx
Sweet Michelle, thank you so for sharing this part of your story. this line especially speaks to me.. "low baseline form of general malaise and anxiety that allows you to be functional but not to live" because that is where I have been for as long as I can remember, basically just reacting to everything around me. What has been helping me is the exact thing you speak of here, these kindreds that I have met as I struggle and find my way on to my path, that includes you, Elizabeth and Jen and all the beautiful cabinmates I have shared time with at Squam, they are my sisters now, the ones I never had. I am slowly allowing myself to see in myself what they see. I also dial in by playing my pup and taking a photo walk, just snapping at the sky, clouds and trees, brings me closer to earth.. Can't wait to check out the video when I get home.
love to you
Karen
i am moved by your honesty, michelle, and the video of maia. so beautiful.
for me...i think i'm still figuring out how to dial it in. experimenting maybe, like you...a short yoga practice each morning before the kids wake {if only to lie in savasana}; taking pictures {i am finding much joy with my camera and iPhone of late}; being truly present for my kids {on the days when i try to do too much, and my time with them is compromised, i am incredibly out of sorts}; time outside, especially a walk in the woods.
PS Jen...James Taylor makes me swoooonnnnn
xo
Karen
I'm not always sure of what does work for me, but I have figured out what doesn't work for me.
The days I feel least like myself, the least interactive, are the days when I spend more than a normal work day on the computer. Given I work on the computer, I need to balance that time with creative or physical pursuits. Without that, I become stagnant, petulant, grumpy (or grumpier), and want to do nothing but hide.
Naps ... naps make me a very happy, calm, serene person. Especially if I have a margarita right before.
I too have waged war on depression off and on as far back as probably the start of adolescence. I guess if I really think about it, the happiest I have been has been as a child and now in my 30's. Perhaps because I have tried to bring back things that are rich in the childhood years such as imagination, creativity, living in the now, less time spent worrying, an enthusiastic sense of humor, more time spent with family and surrounding myself with caring, loving people. It also helps that I'm mothering a young child and I try to remember to try to see the world through her eyes.
This was lovely. As someone who spends a lot of time in her own head, I guess I dial it in by dialing it up -- being in the moment, connecting with other people, and searching for my ever-shifting tribe. Also by not taking myself or anything else too seriously.
Me too, Michelle. I honestly don't think a day goes by that I don't marvel at the fact that I have *this* life, this stable life with husband and kids and mundane responsibilities, because for a great while there, I didn't think I'd ever get to stable and mundane. How do I dial it in? Keeping my eyes open for the small things I am grateful for. Knowing I have a couple people in my life that I can be absolutely honest and vulnerable with--open and vulnerable is so hard for me, and it makes me appear unfriendly, I think, when truly I'm not. Making time for the things that feed me. Getting out for a walk when I'm cranky. Being gentle with myself, not comparing myself to others. Sitting on the edge of the land where the ocean meets the sand. And honoring my own needs. I'm not always successful, of course, but where I am now is so much more level than where I used to be.
I don't know what to say..amazing, maybe? although I don't feel like that is the right word....beautiful seems to be a good fit. Yes, Beautiful....a beautiful life well lived and a body reacting connection to our earth that was worked for.
Sabbath, my bare feet on the Earth, Sunset with my bare feet on the ground, those are the things I have found so far that I will not do without. Simplicity is not something I can claim just yet but something I am working hard to call my own
thank you all...for sharing the bits of your life, and how to make it work for you. this is so helpful to me in my research! :) nature is a big one for me also but funnily enough i'm a tree & rock girl who lives at the beach. so i seek out old live oaks to sit with...and walks in the maritime forrest. and it's always good to know we are not alone...though these challenges aren't something i wish for anyone, it feels good to be understood.
xo
I, too, have struggled and do struggle with this as well. Alone time is vital. Creating beauty, moving, spending time outdoors even when it is freezing and clinging to my faith are what keeps me going. Learning to take care of myself and love myself just as He made me helps a lot.
Michelle-
thank you
for taking the time to write your thoughts and add the video.
I reposted the video on my fb page with these words of my own:
>this is so incredibly beautiful,
it speaks to me truth & gives me vision for my own future.
a video answered my prayers today. thank you Maia & Julie!<
@ 56 years,
I am looking for role models,
wanting direction and purpose for the 2nd half of my life
and paring down to live more simply.
<3
Indeed, she is the great one.
Love, love, LOVE this!
Sigh. So much bubbling up inside me after reading your words. I think for far too long I struggled with this idea of my purpose being to contribute something grand or great to this world but not what called to my heart, rather what is deemed "worthwhile" by someone's (society? culture?) standards. I've slowly come to see that what I want is to simply (HA - not so simply!) create a beautiful life for myself and my family. So I love what you and Elizabeth came up with - "the idea that we support 'creativity as a way of life'." I want to create a beautiful life that nurtures and honors the creative spark in all who share my life, my world.
When I was young, I knew I wanted to grow up and be like my mother's friend, Aunt Dodo. She lived on her own in a farmhouse in New Hampshire well into her 80s. She would go to the neighbor's to get wheelbarrows full of manure for her garden, was always crafting and had ritual nights when friends would come over for wine and scrabble. I thought she was the most amazing woman I could ever know - this at my wise age of 12! And she still is my model for joy-filled living. (Or giving life a "good squeeze" as John O'Donohue would say.)
My intention for 2012 is Clarity ... but I think simplicity is implied in that ... to see and understand what really nurtures and inspires me and to chuck out all the clutter and do what serves me and my life best. Focus upon what enhances joy and wonderment and being mindful of how I spend my time, my energy.
One of the advantages of getting older (and creakier!) is priorities make themselves known. I can no longer skate by on little sleep, neglecting diet or exercise. I feel the effects more acutely now ... so I am with you on needing to move this body daily (also helps the hormones which are slowly shifting and bringing about interesting changes!) ... I cannot get out for regular yoga classes and am really loving a site called Yogaglo.com. Have you seen it? I am needing Yin yoga in my life and they have lots of different styles and class lengths to choose from. And as a yoga teacher myself (gulp ... yup ... I've been a lazy one ...) I really appreciate the discussion of philosophy and ayurveda in the classes I've watched so far.
Wow - I could say even more! But keep this conversation going ... I lover reading what others are discovering. May we all be attending Squam well into our 90s (and still hiking up to the dining hall!)
xo Lis
The past few years have found depression taking a larger hold of my life, and I am always looking for ways to keep grounded and to keep those feelings at bay.
I've found I'm most at peace and the happiest is when I step away from the craziness, turn off the tv and the internet, and get back to the basics. Walks at the beach, curling up with a good book, and time with family and loved ones. In the end that's much more satisfying than anything else.
I too have struggled with mild depression [if there is such a thing as mild depression!] since my early teens. Here's what I've discovered works for me:
Being regular with my spiritual practice.
Being at the beach.
Snuggles with loved ones.
Reading a favourite book.
Listening to favourite music.
Painting some thing colourful.
Fresh air and exercise.
Dancing.
Keeping a reasonably tidy environment.
Eating healthy, while still allowing myself treats.
Attempting to go easy on myself, and asking my partner for his assistance [this is probably the most difficult thing when I'm depressed].
Being honest with myself.
Writing in my journal.
Thanks so much for sharing this video, Michelle! After spending the weekend at the hospital with my 89 year old mother who has chronic back pain from scoliosis (caused by polio when she was 2), it was a reminder to me that aging is different for everyone, and there are choices to be made in how we approach it.
What I have learned about what keeps me out of depression and stress: listen to my gut feelings. It's definitely a practice, especially when what my gut is telling me goes against the grain of logic or the values that I was raised with (read: don't quit even if you hate it and it's not serving you, don't cancel because of the money you're wasting, clean your plate because there are starving children in the world...). Learning to live my truth, and remaining open to what is offered.
That said, I wish I did this 100% of the time. I don't, but I'm much more aware now than I was five years ago, and I expect that in another five years I'll be even better at it. Who knows? Perhaps when I'm 95 I'll be perfect!
I have struggled with a mood disorder most of my life.....depression being a huge part of it....I am on medication now and I am finally stable...have been for about a year and a half. The difference is amazing. But even on medication I have to do things to keep me stable.....exercise....trying to eat better and lose weight (my meds don't help with that)......alone time is a must and tidy surroundings.....which again is hard because my husband is a pack rat......so I do what I can....control what I can control. I am finding my Spiritual path.....and that is very important as well. I love love love the video.....getting older scares me.....I never pictured myself being or getting old.....but now it seems possible....and I hope I can have a life like Maia.....beautiful.
OMG... I feel like I'm back at Serendipity last October! My life changed completely with that experience! I am on a path that is leading me to my happy place... I've neglected it for so long. Pushed it down and down and down... no more! I don't care what my family says... I'm healing myself finally for the first time. This video made me smile from deep inside. My current secret, ever changing and growing, is to read, journal, meditate, read, journal, meditate... not necessarily in that order. Each has their own life that fills me and when I neglect one of them... My inner wise self says... "Hey... you... don't forget to...!" And I start right up again and all is well as I am reminded of the good they all provide me!