So I woke up Tuesday morning feeling as though I’d been hit by a train. I dragged myself out of bed, threw on a light jacket and walked to my local bakery (for an indulgent apple danish and a chai) and sat to journalling.
hello… how are you…
so… this morning is pretty lame and sort of dull…
you know, the usual writers-block that can occur with a blank page. And as I’m writing in my open train of thought, about two pages later I start writing over and over
“I love myself beyond measure,
I love myself beyond measure,
I love myself beyond measure…”
And, I kid you not, after three pages of the same sentence I was smiling secretly to myself and I felt a physical weight lift from my shoulders. I wrote it a few more times and then assumed this phrase as my mantra for the week…
So as the week unfolded as it does, I repeated my mantra over and over:
whilst waiting ages upon ages to get the oil changed in my car: “I love myself beyond measure”
spending three hours on hold with my insurance company: “I love myself beyond measure”
during a particularly prickly conversation with a friend: “I love myself beyond measure”
out loud and taking a walk in a new favorite forest: “I love myself beyond measure”
after making two delicious dinners this week: “I love myself beyond measure”
Sometimes it certainly didn’t have the same potency as when I was journaling, and it didn’t always have the same weight-lifting impact, but other times it was certainly what I needed.
I was reaffirming that loving myself is a daily practice and consists of ups and downs. It is often a battle and other times really easy.
And whilst I was repeating this mantra throughout the week, I decided to film my first Live cast on my personal Instagram. During the twenty minute video I guided a ‘sense meditation’ and also expressed the vulnerability and loneliness and weirdness I have been feeling ever since moving out east. Low and behold, messages came flooding in of support and gratitude around bringing up what is real for me right now.
So, I want to leave you with this Rupi Kaur poem from her book the sun and her flowers, as it beautifully sums up the themes of my week…
“you are a mirror
if you continue to starve yourself of love
you’ll only meet people who’ll starve you too
if you soak yourself in love
the universe will hand you those
who’ll love you too”
– Rupi Kaur
wishing you warmth, light and an abundance of self-love for the weekend ahead,