Karen Delaney Dino
My journey to Squam began 2
years ago while taking a Susannah Conway e-course. I met some wonderful women
online while taking Susannah Conway's Unraveling
class and we spoke of attending this workshop and meeting each other in
person. I also knew some other people from different ecourses
were attending so I was looking forward to meeting everyone in
person. I drove up with one of my online classmates. Elizabeth also created a group page for
Squammies where you can connect with other attendees for ride shares and such.
Pulling up I got this oh
shit feeling, what have I done and can I turn around and go home now, this was
pushing me up and through my comfort zone. I haven’t been away without my family in many years.
First we go to
register and I meet Elizabeth and her magical helpers who were so helpful
in answering all my pre-squam questions. Here we
were greeted with open hearts and open arms that left
you feeling welcome right away then off to the cabin we go and as you
can see by the top picture what a cabin it was. The cabin was shared by
13 of us and I was already starting to feel that high school feeling of not
being good enough and who do I think I am these woman are real artists I am a
fraud, a newbie. In the end I found out we are all more alike
than different and sharing these emotions with others and hearing
them say they felt the same was a huge relief. Even sharing bathrooms worked out just fine, we made a
schedule for showering and it worked out perfectly.
Suffice it to say all the
women over the course of this 4 day workshop became near and dear to me, they
held me up and we shared, tears, laughter, our stories and
wonderful meals together. At the end of each day we would gather around
the fire and share about our day and the classes we took, I can honestly
say I have never felt so SEEN or HEARD before. I was having a bit of trouble
with my anxiety but I was determined not to isolate myself. The friends I made
at Squam are still a part of my community; we talk on the phone, skype and meet
up if we can in real time. And while yes I can go on and on about
the teachers and the classes, they are great and there are so many class
options from mixed media, writing, photography, textile arts, etc. that would take up pages and
pages. If you go to this link you can hear about my first
year teacher/class experiences but just as important for me was the community
to be found here.
The thing I noticed the
most was the strength of this supportive community. I noticed many
returning squammies reaching out and embracing the newbies like myself, this is
a testament to Elizabeth and the intention she holds for this space.
I found myself watching
those who have been to Squam many times and you can see them coming more into
themselves, standing taller in their truth and I felt that same way the second
time I returned. I was able to
sink into things a little easier and push myself a bit further and I know each
time I return I will learn something new about myself.
Going to Squam is like
going back home to yourself, to connecting to what it is that you want.
You can do as much or as little as you want while there. The beauty to be found
there is not just in the people but also the surroundings, the forest paths,
the sun sparkling on the lake, the sounds and sights of nature are all around
you. You can connect with other creative souls
or you can take a breather on the dock just listening to your own heartbeat
merging with the sounds of birds and water.
Don't get me wrong, it's not all magic pixie
dust and unicorns. There is work being done here, you come up against
your own edges and you can push through or not, your choice. I came up
against mine, feeling a part of things in some moments and then
on the fringes of not belonging in other moments. Crying sometimes and feeling
so alone and then laughing with others and feeling connected. So I
just kept showing up because I want to grow and push myself towards
becoming more of myself, to feel more at home in my own body.
The biggest tip I can give anyone thinking of
attending Squam is to go with an open heart and put yourself out there even if
it's just a little bit. If you
feel like you are stumbling all you need to do is look around, we will be there
stumbling right alongside you, you are NOT alone. That is the biggest gift I received from attending Squam,
the KNOWING that you are not alone.
When you share your stories and your truth you will find there are
others right there alongside you traveling a similar path.
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