Crissy Liu

Of course, I was nervous the first year; unknown situation, unknown people, unknown artistic talent.  For me, the scariest part as a first time attendee was arriving at registration; so many people, so much excited energy in the air, I wondered if everyone knew each other already (yeah, the middle school aspect).  And then I got to my cottage and thought, "Wow, this is home for the next 4 days?! Heaven!"  I immediately could feel myself relax and slow down.  It just got better from there.  Now when I get to Squam, I kind of just want to chill.  Elizabeth encourages us to do whatever we want, seriously, if we don't feel like going to something, don't go.  Just being given permission to "not do" is huge!

Speaking of Elizabeth, she has many administrative talents.  I would say one at the top of the list is assigning attendees to cottages and as roommates.  I really don't know how she does it, as we don't tell her that much about ourselves.  She must use some sort of divining rod or ouija board.  This is a serious skill that should not be overlooked.  I have really appreciated the women I've had the honor of sharing a cottage with, and have enjoyed the opportunity to meet new people that I may otherwise have not if I had asked to be rooming with people I already knew.  The cottages are pretty luxurious for being in a "camp".  The beds are super comfortable, it's not crazy sharing bathrooms, there's plenty of room to store all your clothing, art supplies, etc. and everyone is so considerate.  I always cherish the time spent in my cottages with my roommates, whether sitting my the fire or lying out on the dock.  Oh, the dock!

My experiences attending for the first and second time were both incredibly special but in very different ways.  My first year was very much about the art.  I had never used acrylic paints before.  I did not go to art school.  I learned about creating color palettes and was encouraged to try different mediums, techniques, materials.  The teachers are all so generous with their knowledge, materials and guidance.  I left Squam feeling much more confident (and less precious) about using various art supplies and techniques.  

My second year was all about the people.  The creative aspect was very much there, I loved my classes and what I made, but the art turned out to be not the most important part; it wasn't what I needed the most.  In the time since my initial Squam retreat, I'd gone through a lot of intense challenges and loss.  I was feeling pretty ragged.  I'd spent the majority of two years caring for others and, as Jen Lee so aptly put it, "now it was time to nurture myself."  I found so many kindred spirits without even trying, this was such a gift.  

I have kept in touch with Squam friends, mainly through Facebook and blogs.  Even if I'm not actively in touch with a Squam friend, they are often occupying a space in my heart.  The people who attend Squam are really special.  I feel so honored to be a part of such a positive and strong, creative and caring community.