BJ Lantz
This past September (2011) marked my third time at Squam Art Workshops. A lot has been written about this retreat and its transformative powers, the magic in the very air. All I can say is, it’s true. All of it. I’ve heard the skepticism from some who have not attended. The idea that it is some kind of craft camp or that we all sit around holding hands, weeping or something when we're not making pot holders. All I can say is, no, that’s not what it is but it does stir your heart, your soul, your creative being. It brings you closer to yourself and your creative spirit. All that being said, you have to bring an open mind and heart, choose the classes that scare you the most, and push yourself. You have to put yourself out there, meet new people, have creative conversations you never realized were possible. Let down your guard, make yourself vulnerable. Participate in your own transformation. Because I promise, if you do, you will not leave the same person. I know I didn’t.
I read about Squam through a blog, somebody who was teaching at the June session in 2009. I was disappointed because it sounded like fun, but there was no way I could make it in June. Disappointment turned to delight when I found there was also a September session, and, even better, it was more geared to my interests than the June session. I was a little nervous because I had never done anything like this before, I didn't know anybody else going and it was a chunk of change, but I signed up. I spent the months leading up to my first Squam feeling both excited and a little scared.
Before I arrived, I had thoughts like I'm not THAT kind of artist (feel free to insert whatever THAT means to you)...what if everyone else is a better artist than me...what if I don't fit in...what if my cabin mates don't like me or I don't like them...what if... I am sure I had a dozen or so more what if's running around in my brain. I think these kinds of feelings are totally normal, especially among the creative set ~ being sensitive and all that. I really needn't have worried, everyone I met was super friendly and I enjoyed all the deep, creative conversations that I was sure before I arrived that I had wanted to avoid (isn't that crazy?). I think that surprised me more than anything the first year.
Although I am outgoing and mostly gregarious, I am also not much of a "joiner". I can be something of a loner when it suits me. For instance, even though there are activities offered each night, I usually choose hanging out in my cabin in front of the fire with an adult beverage, a book or conversation with cabin mates if they're around. Speaking of cabin mates, on each of my three visits, I've had wonderful cabin mates, some of whom I still keep up with. I have absolutely enjoyed the friendships that have evolved from these trips.
While I was a little skeptical about how I was going to feel about sharing a bathroom with strangers, it has never been an issue. Everyone finds their rhythm of use and everyone is respectful. Honestly, the hardest thing was the cold. I am not a gal who likes being cold. The cabins are not insulated or heated (beyond the fireplace), but there is a cozy, down-filled, duvet covered bed with plenty of extra blankets. I found sleeping with a little knit cap helped immensely! (That surprised me the second year ~ that I was willing to endure the cold again.
Yeah, it's that good :-)
At the end of my first Squam I felt like I never had before. Hard to explain, really, but like my creative mind had really opened up to possibilities I hadn't before considered, and that my spirit had awakened and was ready to start stretching her wings, that I was ready to start exploring myself with that gentle spirit.
The second year I attended I was a little nervous ~ but not for the same reasons as the first year. I was nervous that I was perhaps trying to repeat the magic and that in doing so, I would be disappointed. And I was wrong. The second year, 2010, was just as good as the first ~ in a completely different way. I made different friends while rejoicing in seeing the "old" friends, had different experiences, took different classes but still came away with the same deep sense of ...peace with myself. I had thought as I left that year that surely if I tried to go again, I would be disappointed, that I should look for a new experience....and yet, I went back in 2011 for a third time. And somehow, it was even better.
The first time I went to Squam, I can't tell you how long I spent pouring over the class offerings trying to decide just what to take. I still do that when I sign up (that's part of the fun :-) , but I have learned that while the classes are a big part of the retreat, there is so, so much more. I spent a great deal of time journaling in the early mornings on my most recent trip. While I enjoyed my classes, somehow, those morning hours were what stand out to me the most. The quiet, the lake, the sunrise, the cold, the woods....I felt like i had time to think, to feel ~ to actually think about and examine what I felt. This seemed like such a gift. Certainly not something I am ever able to achieve in my day-to-day life.
I feel that each of my experiences at Squam has given me a new perspective not only on my creativity (in many ways), but also brought me closer to myself, understanding myself, cutting myself some slack, softening my hard edges.
For all you Squam Virgins on the fence, a little scared, a little nervous ~ take the plunge. You will be so glad you did. It is worth every penny and nervous butterfly.
Oh, and just a few practical bits of advice to perhaps make your preparations and trip easier....
- Pick at least one class that scares you. One class that you think you can't do, that is beyond your experience or comfort zone ~ or both. Or a class that you think is too weird for you. That is the class that will shake you up. In a good way. Trust me.
- If you don't understand something on a class supply list ~ don't be afraid to email the teacher for clarification ~ they are all happy to answer your questions.
- Don't stress too much about having just the "right" supplies or an expensive this or that on a supply list. More often than not, the less expensive version of whatever it is will do fine to learn with, and others are always willing to share. I have actually found that in many cases I have not used half of what I was told to bring. But knowing what will be used and won't is a mystery :-). That's why I say don't stress too much if you can't afford or find every thing on the list. If in question, again, email the teacher.
- In class, don't make it precious. You are not there to walk out the door at the end of the day with a perfect piece of art. You are there to experience & learn. Take the pressure off yourself.
- A small hot water heater or coffee maker goes a long way to making your mornings comfortable before the dining hall opens. I find myself getting upway earlier there than I do at home (all the better for that journaling!) and it is nice to have a hot cup of coffee to climb back under the covers with! The cabins do not have kitchens per say, or dishes, so bring a mug.
- The cabins do have ice boxes complete with giant blocks of ice, but depending on the cabin you're staying in, that ice box might be rather small and depending on what you like to drink and how many of you are using the ice box, a small cooler can be helpful.
- If you are flying, shipping a box ahead with various supplies makes traveling a little easier while providing you with some comforts during your trip. The Squam staff is amazing about shipping your box home in a timely manner - you just seal it up, address it to yourself and leave it where they tell you when you leave.
Links to My Squam Stories Each Year
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